15 Oct 10/15/17 “THE BIG THREE: SEX, FINANCES, COMMUNICATION” – Pastor Shane Idleman
The Big Three: Sex, Finances, Communication
“Our marriage is very sick. The cause would be neglect, and inviting toxic things into the marriage such as anger, abuse, pornography, selfishness, pride, and arrogance [all tied together]…It’s been a very slow and sad death – we’ve been on life support for many years. This illness affects so many others than just the 2 of us, yet, we both know the cure! If we would allow God to breathe His word, His plan, and His way back into the marriage we could avoid the tragic death of our marriage!”
All 3 are destructive when driven by selfishness – Sex: is a good thing.
Main Bulk of Sermon SCREEN: 1 Corinthians 7:4 [NIV], “The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.”
It’s an act of giving not receiving. Why fornication and adultery are wrong.
It’s a God-given desire – BUT when we deny our spouse it can devour.
Pornography is adultery – Matthew 5:28 [NIV], “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Are you opening the door in your home – Harvey Weinstein –
No longer attracted to your spouse – arguments increase, as does discord.
This affects the other two areas as well – financial irresponsibility and communication breakdown.
ENCOURAGEMENT: Temptation is also an opportunity to do what is right.
The flesh is never satisfied! Those who have a problem in this area, also have problems in other areas:
SCREEN: Jeremiah 5:7-9 [NKJV], “…‘Your children have forsaken Me And sworn by those that are not gods. When I had fed them to the full, Then they committed adultery And assembled themselves by troops in the harlots’ houses. They were like well-fed lusty stallions; Every one neighed after his neighbor’s wife. Shall I not punish them for these things?’ says the Lord…”.
SCREEN: Romans 1:24-25 [NKJV], “In the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the creator, who is blessed forever.”
When the desire is conceived, sin is born – an exchange takes place.
“I need to do better”is a mental exercise,but victory comes in the application:
Expose & Repent – “You know, I’ve been struggling in this area.”
Prov. 28:13 [NIV], “Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” James 5:16, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”
– Dietrich Bonhoeffer – “One act of obedience is better than a 100 sermons.”
Prayer as a lifestyle – Men would live better if they prayed better.
Fasting starves the flesh – When the flesh is full it is satisfied and in control.
Boundaries are safeguards – When you remove you also have to add.
SCREEN: Drive it out! Joshua 17:12-13 (NKJV), “Yet the children of Manasseh could not drive out the inhabitants of those cities, but the Canaanites were determined to dwell in that land. And it happened, when the children of Israel grew strong, that they put the Canaanites to forced labor, but did not utterly drive them out.”
Understand your enemy – Temptation peaks, then subsides. H.A.L.T.
SINGLES: Paul basically says in 1 Corinthians 7:2 that it’s good to stay single, but since there is/was so much sexual immorality each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
Singles can care for the things of the Lord.
Finances – Most who are having marriage troubles don’t give.
Sit down, make a list, pray, and give – A Blessed Marriage involves compromise – put others first.
This area, more than any other, will truly reveal your heart.
Are you in a financial rut? Begin giving…
Are you doing well financially, but lacking peace and purpose? Begin giving…
Communication – Shutting down is shutting out –
The devil wants to upset communication then he can plant divisive thoughts.
Communication tips: Respect design. Timing is everything:
1. Don’t flood with too much info. 2. Don’t revisit past pain. 3. Don’t have the wrong attitude – seek to listen and understand. 4. Do say, “Let’s revisit this later” if need be.
Our marriage is very sick. The cause would be neglect, and inviting toxic things into the marriage such as anger, abuse, pornography, selfishness, pride, and arrogance…It’s been a very slow and sad death…If we would allow God to breathe His word, His plan, and His way back into the marriage we could avoid the tragic death of our marriage!”
The problem – most lack communication with God –
Psalm 85:6 – “Wilt thou not revive us again: that thy people may rejoice in thee?”
Quicken – Recover – Repair – Restore