10/24/15 “Singleness A Burden Or A Blessing?” – Pastor Shane Idleman


Complete Sermon Notes

Singleness – Burden or Blessing?

Song Intro: Broken Together:

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).

“…The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise” (Psalm 51:10, 17).

Brokenness aligns my will with God’s

Bring your shattered dreams and broken promises to God

The only way marriages will last forever is broken together

Singleness – Burden or Blessing? Those Divorced. Young adults, etc.

Matthew 19:8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”

​The sin of adultery had grave consequences; people were stoned to death.

Just because the consequences have changed doesn’t mean that the moral implications have.

11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

Eunuchs – Singles want to marry, and those married want to be single.

Application: If you weren’t called or created this way, it’s ok – you can marry BUT stay together.

The Blessing of Singleness 1 Corinthians 7:32, “…He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. 33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife.”

Singleness is a tremendous blessing if your life is focused in the right direction – but it’s a tremendous burden if not.

MINISTRY OPPORTUNITIES: cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord.



Who’s influencing you?

  1. 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” THE HOLY AND THE UNHOLY ARE NOT TO BE MIXED.

Although this command is crystal clear, many read it with clouded vision. Some may say that they are a Christian but that doesn’t always mean that they are walking in obedience. Look for fruit produced by their lifestyle.

Many times, the problem isn’t that we raise our standard and miss it; it’s that we lower it and hit it. The Bible reminds us, time and time again that companionship, good or bad, influences character.

  1. Don’t overlook a weak foundation because you like the view: “Swear…that you will not let my son marry one of these local Canaanite women. Go instead to my homeland, to my relatives, and find a wife there for my son Isaac” (Gen. 24:3-4). Abraham’s servant was told where to go. He didn’t visit local nightclubs or singles’ bars. Abraham wanted a wife for his son who knew the Lord. Had Isaac married a Canaanite, he may have easily embraced their false gods and been led astray.

  1. Enter the relationship intending to bring not take. We read in verse 10 that the servant loaded Abraham’s camels with gifts and took with him the best of everything his master owned. The servant went out prepared to be a blessing. Today’s culture tends to ask, “What can I get from this relationship,” rather than “What can I give to this relationship.”

  1. Next, we read in verse 15… “As he was still praying, a young woman named Rebekah arrived with a water jug on her shoulder…” Prayer preceded the blessing. Extended prayer – focused prayer. A night of Prayer Nov. 23rd.

  1. Verse 16 identifies Rebekah as a virgin. A desire for sexual purity is fundamental in finding the right person or being found by the right person. I want to encourage those who are virgins to remain so, and those who are not, to make a decision to abstain until marriage. Remember, despite your past, once you commit your life to seeking God’s will, He can bless your relationship.

KEY: If the person who are dating isn’t concerned about purity while dating, what makes you think they’ll be someone you can trust after marriage?

Sexual Sin is idolatry: 80% of Christians engage in premarital sex.

  1. Don’t rush – wait for confirmation. Verse 21 states that “The servant watched her in silence, wondering whether or not she was the one the Lord intended him to meet.” In deciding whether to date or to continue dating, take some time and observe their attitude and behavior around others?

Are they critical, argumentative AND defensive? Give yourself time to observe their disposition, and remember that most will be on their best behavior, at least initially. Observe them around their family, children, when under pressure and when upset. You might also observe how a son treats his mother and a daughter her father as an indicator of potential strengths and weaknesses.

  1. Who’s influencing them and you? That’s the key.

When Matt was just four years old, his parents introduced him to a new friend. He was excited because he had someone to play with, and they were happy because their friend could baby-sit when they were busy.

As the years went by, Matt and his friend spent countless hours together playing video games and watching sports. In time, things changed. His friend began to use profanity and show disrespect to his family. Although his mother and father disapproved, what could they do? His friend was like a family member now. He taught Matt how to dress, how to act, and even how to treat others, and although his parents wouldn’t admit it, he taught them a thing or two as well. Sadly, they listened to his advice; as a result, Matt rarely saw his parents.

Once Matt reached his teen years, his friend’s influence was obvious. Matt spent more time with him than with his family. Since Matt’s dad was always gone, his friend taught him how to be a father and a husband, and since his mom was busy most of the time, he offered to teach Matt about women, and how to treat them.

At fourteen Matt’s friend introduced him to sex. He explained how it wasn’t a bad thing; everybody was doing it, even with same sex partners. At this point, Matt’s parents became upset and warned Matt not to see his friend again, but he couldn’t end the relationship—he’d been his close companion for the past decade. Surprisingly, Matt’s parents allowed his friend to continue to live in their home. After all, they enjoyed his company and didn’t really want to see him leave—he was a great entertainer.

During the years that followed, Matt’s friend introduced him to alcohol, drugs, and pornography, and again assured him that everyone was doing it. Matt could see his friend’s point; he showed him MILLIONS of people who agreed with this lifestyle.

When Matt grew older, he looked back over the years and saw that the friendship should never have continued. He believed that his friend’s influence encouraged his father’s affair, his mom’s problem with alcohol, and may have ultimately contributed to their divorce. His friend’s impact on his life was just as devastating.

Today, with full knowledge of the damage done, Matt still allows his friend to live with him, and, amazingly, he still listens to his advice. Matt’s friend has a name, it’s television.

Although fictional, Family Friend proves a powerful point, “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he…” (Proverbs 23:7). Seriously consider WHO’S influencing you.​