2/4/18 “DON’T LET PAIN DEFINE YOU” – Pastor Shane Idleman

Complete Sermon Notes

Don’t Let Pain Define You

WHEN YOU are offended pt. 1


When You have been hurt and offended – wounded.


There is legitimate pain, but most offenses need to be released – They reveal PRIDE is at work when they are not –


Romans 12:16 [ESV]: Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly…


How can the Holy Spirit in you stay at odds with the Holy Spirit in the other person?

  • +Usher shirts, +flip flops, +coffee in the auditorium, +people didn’t greet me, +no invite to B-day party…


GOD HELP US – and we wonder why we know nothing of the Spirit-filled life

THE GREATEST LESSON: Don’t Let Pain Define You


  • How you handle pain will affect every area of life.


Will you allow anger to stifle you? Will you allow painful experiences to push you away?


Will you allow an “unfair life” to turn into bitterness? Will you allow teasing and critical remarks to affect your entire life?



  • PARENTS – If you walk around defeated, so will your children. If you lash out at them, they will lash out at others.


GREATER: The story of Brandon Burlsworth, possibly the greatest walk-on in the history of college football. [His coach verbally assaulted him.]

  • Turn offenses back on the enemy – use them a stepping stones.

  • KEY: God looks to see how we handle offense. The responsibility falls on us.


So Let the ruins come to life / In the beauty of Your Name / Rising up from the ashes / God forever You reign

Jesus can relate: Herod tried to kill Him; the religious leaders mocked Him and accused Him; His own people crucified Him, and His disciples forsook Him.

1. CLEAN THE TOXIC THOUGHT LIFE: Matthew 5:21-22 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire.


  • Healing comes from releasing.

  • Reconciliation is the heart of God – it involves releasing more than restoration.

Those who need to hear this the most are often the most defensive –



An angry attitude is often a sign that we are still stuck in pain mode – “Out of the heart, the mouth speaketh.”


Ephesians 4:31-32 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.


  • IN SHORT: Cut out all backbiting and unwholesome talk. Be gentle with others and sensitive to what they are going through. Forgive one another quickly as God in Christ forgave you.

2. HEALING INVOLVES ACTION: 5:23-26 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. Assuredly, I say to you, you will by no means get out of there till you have paid the last penny.


  • Healing comes from initiating: “Go to your adversary.

  • True worship involves reconciliation – pursue reconciliation then worship.

  • Joy, Peace, and Direction return when release takes place: “Agree with your adversary quickly…”

  • PRIDE SAYS, “Lets go battle this out!”  –  HUMILITY SAYS, “Let God work it out.”



Matt.6:15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.


  • Forgiveness and Reconciliation Are Not the Same [SEE ARTICLE and BE HERE NEXT WEEK]

Don’t give Satan an open door – RESOLVE IT.




John Courson talked about Jacob and Leah – Jacob was tricked but NOT God.

Ashlyn is among a tiny number of people in the world known to have CIPA — “I pray everyday that God would allow my daughter to feel pain!”

What kind of mother…? What kind of a God…? Never let PAIN determine your destiny.