6/25/17 “I’VE BEEN HURT! NOW WHAT?” – Pastor Shane Idleman

Complete Sermon Notes

I’ve Been Hurt! Now What?

Division over John Mark – 37 Now Barnabas was determined to take with them John called Mark. 38 But Paul insisted that they should not take with them the one who had departed from them in Pamphylia, and had not gone with them to the work. 39 Then the contention became so sharp that they parted from one another…

  • They both had valid reasons – one was wisdom the other was forgiveness.

1. Colossians 4:10 (paraphrase) – If Mark comes to you, welcome him.

2. 2 Timothy 4:11(NIVUK) – Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry.

“Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

o   People who don’t release offenses never grow; they stay stagnant – they run!

o   Seasoned men and women of God have been offended ten times over.

o   We’re going to be offended for the rest of our lives.

Unforgiveness steals your joy, hurts your relationship with others, and damages your walk with God.

  • God never designed us to hop around and stay stagnant.

Err on the side of grace and grow or follow the course of…

Reasons to “Consider” Leaving a Church: Does God want me to stay and make a difference?

  1. Scripture is watered down.

  2. Sin is never confronted.

  3. The church lacks spiritual life.

  4. The church is very controlling (to direct the course of events).


  • Manipulates you with God’s word vs. encourages you – temper tantrums or threats

  • Never satisfied or appreciative.

  • Putting you down and challenging your motives

  • Imposes their will on you.

Not – I didn’t make the worship team, or the pastor said something I didn’t like. I was promoted. I didn’t get my way. Someone was rude to me.

Jesus Was Offended.

  • Herod tried to kill him; his family rejected him; entire cities denounced him; John the Baptist questioned him; the Pharisees mocked him; the Sadducees challenged him; the scribes accused him; his people cried, “Crucify him!”; Pilate sentenced him; Judas betrayed him; Peter denied him; and his disciples forsook him. The world is still OFFENDING him.

There’s power in forgiveness – Christians should be able to forgive, when we’re in right relationship with God.

  • Matthew 6:15 – “But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

1. BLESSINGS ARE REMOVED – Something is being held against us.

2. A LACK OF FRUIT – D.A. Carson – “There is no forgiveness for the one who does not forgive. How could it be otherwise? His unforgiving spirit bears strong witness to the fact that He has never repented.”12

  • “He will not pardon or release you.”

The Bottom Line – you don’t want to find out what it means.

LIFESTYLE OR A STRUGGLE? The person struggling admits the struggle!

  • I know many people holding in unforgiveness and fuming with bitterness. I would question their salvation.

§  The flesh doesn’t want unity; the Spirit does –

– The Bait of Satan by John Bevere – “Many go from church to church, ministry to ministry, and so on. They leave and blame the leadership. They are blind to any of their own character flaws and they do not realize that God wanted to refine and mature them…”

When you have fellowship with God, you should be right with man.

The enemy also loves to divide the church and families with offenses.

  • Pentecost— “all with one accord,” and the Spirit fell.

The world is NOT always impressed with our MESSAGE, but of our love.

·        God values humility as much as theology.

·        Offenses have a way of humbling us.

God has been restoring since creation.

The Holy Spirit is not a Spirit of division, animosity, anger, OR bitterness.

·        We take things way too personally, and we think the worst instead of the best.

·        Unrealistic expectations.

·        We develop a critical spirit because of past offenses.



2 Corinthians 5:19, “God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them, and he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.”

Galatians 5:14–21, 14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!

  • Someone has to stop biting.

I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish…

…Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

  • WHY does he say this? So people will say, “Wait a minute! I “practice” these.

Matthew 5:23–24, “Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” Holding offenses in prevents genuine worship.

Romans 12:18 – If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.

Final Thoughts

  1. Ephesians 4:31–32: “Let all bitterness and wrath, anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice and be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ forgave you.”

  2. Many need to release the offenses they have…and an offense against God.

Joy, peace, and contentment are all tied to forgiveness.